Monthly Archives: April 2013




I just heard that startling noise.
Little by little everything becomes visible.
It’s a matter of life and death.
Stand up or get beat up? 
Probably standing up would be better.
The problem? That soft, cushiony bed. 
Fuck its magnetic powers, right?
Oh well, gotta gobble up something.
Or hunger might bump into me. 
And i’ll have no change for a trip home.

Same routine daily.
I’d rather choose death, to tell you frankly. 
People goes in and out of our room of hell, 
And stop mumbling shit when they ring the bell.

Their words i can’t comprehend.
For unreasonable hours, my ears i lend.
But nothing can break through the walls of my brain.
Now all i’m wishing is a very hard rain.
But the sun seems too active. 
So later i’ll just push myself off a cliff.
Maybe it can send me in a dark sleep.

Outside i can see tons of temptations. 
Seducing me to go there
And skip these sessions.
Now i can’t help but stare at the trees.
Imagining that i was playing with bees.
Dropping me on a mountain of ants,
Dragging me to very large plants.
PLANTS! How i miss those plants.
The good times during those very bright days. 
Even the night was bright in that HEAVENLY PLACE.

Feeling like rolling on the floor
Cause they were filled with color.
Okay my name was called.
By that ugly old man who was bald.
Kept asking me to talk,
Like i even give a fuck
To all that rubbish words he’s throwing
To the gullible sheep he’s educating.
Being hypocrites just to gain that number
When that number isn’t the self-definition.
Thought your motto was to mold the minds. 
Well i guess you fail to form the binds. 

All the blame is not only on you.
But also to us sheep 
Who only wanted to go through.
Spreading the epidemic of mediocrity.
Branding themselves unskilled. 
But then the truth reveals
That the sheep didn’t dig deep 
Or didn’t dig at all.

The youth is the hope of the nation.

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The unlucky days.


“Life is beautiful.” Yeah yeah, this cliché goes on and on. But there are certain days that there is really nothing to be happy about. I know what you think. “Be thankful that you’re alive today.” Another cliché. That’s already given i know. There are tons of reasons to be thankful about but not necessarily happy about it. Do you get what i mean? I don’t become automatically happy from the moment i wake up knowing i’m alive. I’m not that kind of perky person. Well i guess you can’t be too lucky to be happy every single day of your life. And when those usual unlucky days happen, i just don’t like it.

They say that you should eliminate or do something about your stressors. But it’s not that easy as it is said. What if your stressor is not that easy to get rid of? Or can’t be deleted from your life instantly? Then maybe you just have to smoke it up.

I hope that when you say the words, they are automatically done in a second. Or maybe not done. But felt. 

Photo from:

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The blackness, the darkness
Searching for its familiarity.
I can’t quite find
Then a dot of saturated light
Again, the image was not in the mind.
Then thousands of them.
The saturated brightness
I seem to comprehend.
Remembering the source of the light.
Oh yes, it was coming from the city.
I am home.

Photo from:

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You may not want to miss this.

This is probably one of the most interesting books I’ve ever bought and read. Again, you may not want to miss this. I won’t give you an idea of what the story’s about but I assure you that it’s well written, unique and beautiful.

From what I’ve read, this is Ransom Riggs’s first book and I should say that it did hit the topseller’s section of the bookstores here. He really deserved it. And for those who get easily bored by reading full texts, well this is for you. There are tons of photos that can make you stare for seconds.

Looking forward to more of his novels. Cheers to Ransom Riggs!

An Unexpected Gift.

Who would’ve thought that this angel would come dashing through our doorstep?

Our family never had a dog. Ever. Cause my mom and my dad didn’t want one. But my sister and I are dying to have one. My parents and I always argue when issues like buying a dog takes place. They always tell me that I will not have time to take care of it blah blah. And so I just dropped it and never talked about it ever since.

But one day, my sister texted me telling that she has a surprise for me when I get home. And of course, I was surprised to find a dog at home. I even thought that they were just playing around with me because the dog really looked like my aunt’s. But turned out that it’s really a different dog. So I asked where they got it. And they told me that this dog was wandering around. But the dog got frightened by my cousin’s Golden Retriever and couldn’t move from where she was. Suddenly my sister opened the door to see what the barking’s all about. That’s when this dog entered our house. It hid behind my Dad’s leg and my Dad just instantly fell in love with it. So we decided to keep her (since we don’t know whoever owns her) until someone gets her. And at times walk her outside so that maybe the owner might see her. But no one claimed her. There are no posts of lost dogs or whatever.

Now she’s been staying with us for more than a month now. And I think there’s a law stating that if ever you keep a stray dog for a month without anyone claiming it, then it’s yours.

Everyone loves her here and she’s gotten fatter and more pampered compared to the time we first saw her.

Thanks for the gift, God.

By the way, her name’s Kree.

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The Fall.

The magic of the moment
Feels like you’re flowing with the current.
Day by day you’re wanted
By the unimaginable love you’ve founded.

Waking up seeing your image.
The pleasure that gives you courage
Suddenly everything’s insignificant.
And you know that he’s the exception.

The smoothness of the days,
Like life is not a race
Made the stone believe
That forever was conceived.

Then that forever passed.
Feeling like the love was full of rust.
Not even once you were caressed.
Shallow reasons caused the loss of tenderness.

Not one knew what happened
To that magical moment.
That the image you’re seeing
Is a completely different being.

The pain of the attachment
Causes both pure torment
When the only loved being
Leaves and keeps you tearing.

Now, that forever should end.
For they are completely bent.
Another push and they’ll end up breaking.


But keep believing.

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The Unknown.

Do you ever feel like you’re not home? It’s weird cause lately I’ve been feeling that. But i am home, literally. I tried going to another place i call “home” and it still feels strange. Every night i  think of it and i really don’t know where i should be. 

I am sad with unknown reasons. I can’t even give my eyebrow muscles a rest no matter how hard i try. I don’t know what i want and i know that  everything i want is right in front of me. Then why am i like this? What is missing? 

Hoping i could figure everything out. I just wanna be home. 

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My Grandma’s Death.

Nobody ever liked my grandma. She is mean to kids, she says things that should not be said and she accuses people for something they did not do. Sometimes we feel like she feels happy if someone’s getting hurt. She is a heavy gambler. That if she’s broke, she’ll really borrow money so that she can go to the casino. She does not behave well in public and does not know the proper etiquette. She acts like she’s so rich and treats people like they’re below her.

So yes, that is my grandma. She is I think 87 when passed away last Wednesday, April 3, 2013. Nobody here seemed sad about it. Well I thought I wasn’t too. But the funny thing was, when I was in the cab, on the way to see her at the hospital, tears just fell from my face. Because I saw that I’m still wearing the ring and the necklace she gave me. I’ve been wearing it since highschool and I never took it off. Then I recalled the times I spent with her and they were not all bad times. There were some good times. I was even her favorite grandchild. And even in the last weeks of her life, she keeps on calling my sister with my name. I’m the only one she remembers.

Rather than spending the time with her, I spent it hating her. Now I live with the guilt.

Rest in peace, Grandma.

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The sight of that existing face.
The way you hold your love.
You marked me as fragile
That the pain in me
Darkens your tender soul
Swallowed up bit by bit.

Your hands grip mine in comfort
That very unspoken language
Promising a love so eternal. 
A myth they treated with doubts.
Showed me a heart so dedicated 
That you kept my fickle faith,
From possessing that limited line.

To deprave me from the glimpse of you.
Will induce me to delirium.
That the only cure is the feel of your arms.
Cuddling me with closeness,
Too affectionate it brings oblivion.

Together we make an odd symphony
That listeners can understand barely.
We merge so well, no one can tell.
What we want we do,
but we weren’t invincible.

Everything’s forever changing
Always inevitable,
But still being doubted
By some who were not adaptive
And willing to change roles.
But you and i will conquer
Every era of threats thrown.

But if the love is purest,
Then the mind should rest,
For the passing of the seasons
Will be an easy test.

You would be embraced eternally
But my tight grip can be loose, If you choose.
But to let you go,
I’d be a fool.

Our love will always linger.
That a separation is not an option.
We have found that indescribable ecstacy.

You’re mine and i’m yours as well.
At the start and end of the day,
I will FOREVER say..



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